The following series of events was relayed to me in an email from my buddy Jeff. This is his story...
Two weekends ago, I found myself in a position where I literally said to myself, "What would Rick Tastic do?"
If any one of you tries to trademark that before me I'll rape your entire family. -Rick
It was a long Friday night shift, and a girl I had gone out on a date with a few days before comes into the bar. That date was nothing special. She was roughly a half hour late, forgot her ID, and we had a language or, more specifically, an accent barrier... so, the usual. I described the date to a mutual friend as "bland".
But I digress, that actually has nothing to do with the story.
After I make it perfectly clear we would not be going on another date, EVER, she takes off with her friend. As she walks out, a drunk trio walks in. Now, everybody thinks that bartenders get pussy all the time. I wish this were the case, but sometimes even being paid to get girls drunk doesn't always work out. Although, it does beat the hell out of buying girls drinks for no apparent reason other than trying to get my whistle wet.
Tonight though... tonight is about to get weird.
Back to the trio, I could only wish it were three girls, but it wasn't. It was, however, the next best thing: A white chick, a black chick, and a gay mexican. At no point during the night do they give me their real names or any personal information. But after listening to their bullshit for a half an hour or so, they pose a question: "Will you celebrate the white chicks birthday with us and join us for some cake?"
Of course, who doesn't like cake?
I close up, give them a free round of champagne, and join them for cake (CAKE!). Then birthday girl (aka white chick) asks me to go in the water with her (the bay is right behind the bar).
Gee, let me think... SURE! I'll fuck you in the water in front of your friends!
So I do, and we do.
Two minutes later (what can I say, I'm built for speed) we get out, and head to their hotel room. At this point, I still don't have their names. The guy asks me to fuck his friend, I tell him I just did, and the black chick poses a business opportunity to me, which I agree to b/c she has awesome tits and a banging ass, and the white chick is pulling me by my cock back to the room.
We get back to the room, smoke some California back pain medication, and hit the shower for "some privacy". As she's sucking my dick in the shower, all of a sudden the curtain opens.
The black girl has her phone out and the gay guy has his iPad on video.
So what do we do?
"Fuck it, let's make a porno!"
We fuck all over the room while the other two continue to watch and video it... and occasionally make small talk with us (kind of weird).
Then I feel a third hand.
This hand starts rubbing up my leg and spanks my ass.
Whatever.
I continue to fuck the chick, and really could give two shits who that third hand belongs to...
...until it starts playing with my balls.
Please don't let it be the gay guy's hand.
I turn my head to the couch and see him rubbing one out. He looks over, "Yeah, you thought that was me! Hahaha!"
Using my powers of deduction I realize the hand belongs to the black chick, so I figure the threesome is all good. One thing leads to another... and it doesn't happen.
Not sure where it went wrong, but oh well.
The following weekend, two of them show up at the bar again, and this time I go back to the guy's place in Mission Valley and fuck the birthday girl on his patio. Funny thing is, without the cameras there it just wasn't that fun. And I still have no names or numbers...
The morale of the story?
Somewhere out in San Diego, there is a gay guy with a video of me fucking his friend in a shower.
I know it's not actually a morale, go fuck yourself...
ha ha ha ha ha. I heard this story firsthand a few weekends ago.
Posted by: Jay B. | 09/15/2011 at 01:48 PM